Food For Thought · living · Savvy

Who’s Up For Some Circumstantial Happiness This Year?

It’s mid-January and I would say some of us have already fallen off the wagon. Can I have a show of hands? A hallelujah perhaps? What type of goals are being set? What are the expectations?
          I am a firm believer in lists. I freggin love making lists. Grocery lists, to-do lists, or Pros & Cons lists. Naturally, I love making goals for myself as well. Not only do I thoughtfully write them down, but I give myself deadlines. Lose 10 pounds before March. Buy a new car by September. The beauty and freedom in {My} goals list this year is knowing that I am not depending on these circumstances to bring me happiness. Whether they happen or not, I’ll be just fine.
         See, I used to get easily caught up in the excitement of something new happening. And for me, that thing would solve all my worries. Temporarily, of course. The idea that I will only find happiness in momentary circumstantial situations came from growing up in a less-than-functional, low-income home. Some of you may understand what I mean. I remember adults giving me comforting speeches about how life will get better after so and so happens.  It was like all the trials and hardships will be magically fixed by the coming of either; tax season, payday, or a new materialistic item. I was unconsciously wrongfully-trained to focus on receiving, not achieving. My goals looked much different in my early 20’s. Sometimes writing down goals looked more like a wish list with no thought into how I will reach each one. In that time, my intent behind my goals was just plain visionless. Oh sure, those things will definitely bring me happiness! [sarcasm at level 5] And if they didn’t happen the way I pictured them; I sunk down into an overbearing depression. That is what they like to call, “Ignit thinking”. I’m not going to wait until a new job or degree comes around to finally feel content. If that were the case I’d say things like this,
“Kids, everything will be fine once your dad returns from deployment. We just have 6 more months and we’ll be a happy family again.”
         Umm, exsqueeze me? Why can’t we be a happy family now? Sounds optimistic at first, but it’s taking away from the present. It’s lazy. So, when your “circumstances change” then life will really begin? My life cannot be on pause because my husband is gone. Life is happening now. I have many goals for myself. Am I going to wait to be content? What about the in between time? What do you do until then? What if your goal isn’t achieved? What if what you want never happens? What type of mindset is that!?  I’m all for being enthusiastic about the future, [trust me boo-boo] but learn the difference. You can create a life for yourself where you aren’t waiting for the next big thing. Why idolize it? You are unknowingly creating a superficial mindset which will make it hard to enjoy the little things in life.  You’ll only be left with circumstantial happiness.
“Everything will be perfect.. “
  • Once you get a car
  • Once you’re in a relationship again
  • Once you start school
  • Once you end school
  • Once you move
  • Once you’re skinny
  • Once you go to your dream destination
  • Once you get that promotion
          If this year you have goals, plans or deadlines for yourself, then good for you! I wish you the best of luck and advise you to not give up! Happiness won’t come from the things you imagine they will! Instead, let your focus be in the investment you’re making IN YOURSELF. 
Here’s to 2016! Who’s with me?
Can I have a show of hands? A hallelujah perhaps?         

6 thoughts on “Who’s Up For Some Circumstantial Happiness This Year?

  1. Very honest and mature! I love this! happiness doesn’t come from circumstances but having peace in the identity who you are! … While reaching to be better! 🙂 …. So refreshing to remember! Great read!!!


  2. Hallelujah! This is exactly something worth reading! I can visualize everything you wrote and the whole tone of it was very encouraging! Will continue to be a reader.


  3. I thoroughly enjoyed this excerpt, and I wish many more people get the chance to read it. It impacted my life greatly and I plan on taking a page from your lessons. Excellent job.
    Love from Jamaica


  4. This was really encouraging and helps one not lose sight of here and now. I love the joys and opportunities right in front of me. I am home with my toddler and love being with her;her laugh, curiosity, and even times of mischief. There is beauty all around us if we look closely.


  5. Wonderful encouragement on a great way to focus on being proactive on making things happen in the now and present. Great energy! Great read! Thanks for sharing.


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