Food For Thought · life · living · Savvy · Uncategorized

Toss Your Trademark

          Some cultures (cough-hispanics) are joked on for being late. It’s pretty much our trademark. I am not talking about being within any type of grace period. I am talking about totally missing the mark! To be so late that the time zone by which you go by is in question. Being the person who has to wait is never fun. When you first experience it you come up with possible reasons why a person would be so late. Your mind tries to instill logic behind this absurdity. You check your invite and text messages to confirm you gave them the correct time. [Oh, they definitely know what time it starts.] When he/she finally arrives they are either aggravated or completely oblivious to their tardiness. In some cases, if you are lucky, you get the over-apologizer who will beg for your forgiveness every time. If you have these particularly charming human beings in your life you may want to start lying to them about when you need them ready by. If you don’t have anyone like this in your life then YOU my friend, are probably whom I’m speaking of.

          Like me, you “plan” to be on time and fail almost 80% of the time. Granted, things do come up which add to your tardiness, but it is you who magnetically attracts things to occur and time to fly as you head to your destination. I have tried to shake this distinguished habit on mine for years. I own up to my ways and try to plan ahead as much as possible. On some levels, I’ve embraced who I am and have even told people upfront that I won’t arrive on time. I’ve definitely came a long way. For someone who can raise their hand and admit to being late, I tell you that this is only the top of the iceberg for people like us. Pulling into the parking lot Fast & the Furious style and running inside the building is only what your eyes see. People who are normally late also have issues prioritizing in their life. I am in my late 20’s and I have learned so much about this over the years. Care to time travel with me?

           My first job was such an amazing job to have as an 18 year old girl. I worked in an office with all the department managers. My supervisor took me under her wing and taught me many things about running an office efficiently. I was given the key and alarm code to the office within no time. My schedule and my pay checks were good. I had a lot to prove as a previously rebellious teen. I was enrolled into college and getting ready to buy my first car. After a few months of excelling, I started running late every day. I discovered the beauty of calling out. I soon realized adult life was not like high school. I had mastered using charm and persuasion to get my way through school and it was not working well for me in the real world. I was trying to keep up appearances with my friends and manage my duties. Many times I put parties and spontaneous nights over other things. It was deeper than irresponsibility; I did not know how to priorities my life. Later, I had my daughter and things only became more hectic for me. Juggling stuff while forcing my “I can do it all façade” was getting hard.

          When in doubt add a mortgage and a marriage! At 19 we moved into our brand new home. Within the next year we got married and my husband left on his first deployment overseas. I wanted to keep busy. I committed time aside to find myself. I started changing some of my ways. Although I was slowly transforming into somewhat of an adult, I continued to overextend myself. I leaped into many positions I wasn’t ready for and took on multiple weekly functions. I eventually was dubbed a Yes Man. I couldn’t say no to anything, mostly because I lacked the ability to see what was more important. I felt like the things I was doing were good. I knew I was changing for the better, but all I did was take on new things to consume myself with. I still could not prioritize and it hurt me mentally, physically, and emotionally. Alone time was a permanent resident of the bottom of my to-do list. There was progress, but now I was trying to be Super Women.

           Once I had my second daughter I continued to try to prove myself. By then I had met a lot of new positive people, but that only made me want to do better, which meant, do more. I had come so far, but I hadn’t given myself credit for any of it. Fifth-teen months after my daughter, my son was born. I was able to do less and less. I missed many parties, events, and opportunities. I became very saddened, if not depressed. I was used to doing everything and by doing nothing I felt purposeless. The baby blues were trying to take me down, but I knew God had a bigger plan. I kept telling myself this lie that I was seen as an unworthy unreliable person. I knew I had greater potential than just being someone who runs late and overbooks herself. The truth was that I was surrounded with people who understood me. They weren’t concerned with those details, but my wellbeing. They were people who knew when to encourage me to do something and when to tell me to back down. My husband, family, and friends knew the real me.

          I took on two pretty awesome roles within that next year. I had numerous break downs, I’m sure, but I came up victories multiple times. I was able to be proud of myself when I would not only show up on time, but give my 100%. No matter what it was I was doing I was becoming the person I always knew I could be. I was diminishing any ugly thought with my own actions. Sometimes you have to prove to yourself that you can change before trying to prove to others. Likewise, people who truly love you won’t label you or remind you of your shortcomings.

          I still to this day deal with making tough choices. As a mother of three I have to be wise about what I say yes to. I can’t be speeding to my next location anymore. For my family’s sake, I need to prioritize and plan ahead. For my sake, I need to take breaks or make sure to do something I love. I still have those few who remember me for who I once was and you will have those too. Don’t allow anyone to put a title on you just yet. You are never finished. Being late, chaotic, and unreliable was a trademark I created for myself years ago and thank God I was able to toss it completely out the window. You have to believe that every day you are getting closer and closer to the person you were put on this Earth to be. You will find yourself falling back into your patterns from time to time. Do not allow yourself to feel sorrow or guilt over it. Surround yourself with people who inspire you and push themselves to be better. You are NOT the person you once were, and in 20 years you won’t be the person you are now. Be excited about the growth to come! Your growth may look different than mine, but I hope you never stop aspiring to be a GREATER YOU.

          Like I said, I’ve learned a lot. I now know I have the potential to manage bills, meal prep, plan my grocery list, create a schedule for my kids, keep my word, and so much more. Listen, give yourself credit! I occasionally pay bills late, plan too many things for one day, and run behind schedule, but I’m a work-in-progress.

This week give someone a second chance. If someone is struggling to balance things try helping them before getting angry or judgmental. Oh and if someone is running late.. spare them the lecture just this once. For me, please?

Xoxo, behtee savvy

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One thought on “Toss Your Trademark

  1. Really like this post because it is great to see the way you see yourself and the way you want to see yourself. I am so proud of your planning and organizing. Organization is the key to happiness! One of the keys anyway…One of my favorite things about you and Steph, is that you are always wanting to be better people. That makes you amazing.

    Like

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