How many hats are you currently wearing? Are you a spouse, a parent, or a devoted employee? As we get older we wear more hats and they suddenly become part of our identity, but what exactly is our identity? Are we still in there somewhere? Are we closer and closer to who we are meant to be or are we getting lost in everything we are taking on?
Every now and then I have these amazing “so proud to be a mom” moments. One of my kids will do or say something that is so insanely impressive that it instantly warms my heart and makes me feel like I am made to be a parent! Then there are days I will text my husband something super inspirational and feel like I am totally nailing this wife thing! Other less enthusiastic times I am starving for something else to fill me. There is a battle between how much I’ve changed and if it is for the better or not. I have been a student, an employee, and carried numerous responsibilities where I ultimately wonder if it is adding to me or taking away. How annoying is it that the adults in our lives as adolescents warned us that certain interests will fade away with age. Darn them and their absolutely correct wisdom! However, what about the core elements of whom we are such as our sense of humor, our social character, or unique nature? Have you ever felt that those traits are fading away?
Sometimes a new role at work or new responsibility can change a lot about you. Major life-changing events like becoming a new parent or getting married will also inevitably create a new mentality and new behaviors that never existed in you before. However, what happens when a new hat changes the fact that you are spontaneous or love to travel or enjoy alone time? What happens when the hats you’re wearing cloud over the personality you were born with?
I believe that some roles in your life are permanent and some aren’t and you will go through seasons where some take a majority of your time and thoughts. Nevertheless, you are still in there. You are so remarkably unique and created particularly for the life you are meant to have. As you sit and read this there is a timeframe occurring which has you at a particular stage. Only you know what that stage looks like. You are sitting there unaware of tomorrow. Sure you have plans in place, don’t we all, but you have no clear indication of anything certain, do you? The things most desired in your heart and mind right now may or may not happen. What will become of you in a decade from now? The stage you are in may last a week or a year. I tell you one thing, you are not the same and you won’t be the same a year from now.
Every time you add another hat to the many you are wearing it is your responsibility to form a new improved piece within yourself and let one unnecessary piece fade away. As you add and chip away at yourself you will discover that a marvelous and simply astonishing version of yourself has been there all along and these hats have only helped carry it out. There will be times when you may not feel like you are yourself and it is precisely within those times that you must highlight who you want to be. Only then will you know what must stay and what must go.
So what is something you used to do that you don’t anymore? Is it something worth keeping around? Were you unorganized or forgetful? Were they bad traits? Maybe you were a person who loved to give back to community or help others? What have you stopped doing and wish to do again? Perhaps it’s an attitude you had which has completely been altered. Is there any hobby worth bringing back in your life like swimming or painting? I think adulthood is kind of creepy. We overthink and overdo. We are all just children deep down still desiring some direction and approval. How do we measure how our life is turning out?
It is important not to only seek happiness, but success and achievement. I will give you an indicator. A job, a stable roof over your head, healthy loved children, or a good self-esteem are wonderful achievements. Your friends and family will have their opinions. Some will hate anything changed and others will embrace it. Some won’t be able to adjust right away. Maybe they don’t see you as often or they see you as someone different. It is just as important to learn when you must add or chip away at people. Whoever you’re becoming right now demands a certain environment and type of support. If you want to keep achieving you must surround yourself with positive motivators.
Next time you are having one of those days when you feel overwhelmed with life just be grateful with how far you have come and cut yourself some slack. Continue to take on challenges, be bolder each day, and grow in compassion through every situation. Aren’t you wondering who else is in there?
Yours Always, Behtee Savvy