depression · Food For Thought · life · living · real-life · Savvy · Tips · Uncategorized

Air in my lungs was not enough

As I sip my cup of coffee I mediate on how grateful I feel. I lean back to take another sip and realize that I have absolute control of the tone of my day. In the wake of so much tragedy I am affirmed that life itself is a huge blessing. Within this gratefulness I can recall the days I woke up feeling downright miserable. That’s right, I would wake up to see another day and to me it was just another day where I despised life. I had air in my lungs yet I was bound to feelings that manufactured ungratefulness. How could I be so tied down while being free to live?

There have been many seasons in my life where I was trapped within that mindset. Waking up and having air in my lungs was not enough. What more did I desire? Well, just about everything else crossed my mind. It seemed like a shadow of stress and worries was casted over the fundamental basic blessings that I was currently receiving. Let me know if any of this sounds familiar. As you roll out of bed and walk to the kitchen to prepare breakfast you allow your mind to become cluttered with a never-ending list of what is wrong. At the same time, you are moving much too rapidly to notice what you have right under your nose. A roof over your head, physical capabilities, and food at your fingertips seem much too customary to identify. You could be in your vehicle driving safely and soundly to a paying job and not even notice the privilege of what you are doing. Why would you? It’s the same route you take to work every day. Your mood is sluggish and you are bothered by all the dreadful red lights, irking traffic lines, and bad drivers. It steals moments away from any hopeful possibilities of the day in front of you. What exactly is happening? Has this become who you are; an insensible robot? This is unlike you. What has changed?

Your mood, your attitude, and your behavior that create that mindset are results of strongholds of depression, anxiety, and grief. You need to understand that the very thing that clutters your mind with worries is the very thing that can bring you life. Your mind is very powerful. There is a functional part of your brain that creates thoughts. What type of thoughts are you producing? Well, your thoughts stem from the things you care about most. However, is every care or concern valid? Could it be possible that there is depression in your life? Do you feel anxious about anything? Is there a sense of loss in your heart; whether it is a person or something that was very dear to you?

Terrible and unforeseen situations occur. Unexplainable tragedies and unchangeable events happen. This is the brutal part of life, but it’s not the main part. Allow yourself to focus on the beauty of life. Center your focus on what is left after the tragedy. In the current events of the 7.1 Earthquake that hit Mexico I saw images of falling buildings. Complete horror hit my heart as I tried to somehow put myself in the situation of those there. Some buildings clearly fell and crumbled yet I looked around to see what was left standing. I realized then that I had transitioned myself to be the type of person that tries to, even within tragedy, see the good that is left. I use to pile up all of my issues. I use to allow my thoughts to overwhelm me to the point of extreme anxiety. I fought with depression since I was 13 which led to years of battling suicidal thoughts. I carried loss as a result of deep regret for the unaccomplished things in my life. Now here I am read my coffee mug. The same one I use every day. It says, “Best day ever!” How could everyday be the best day ever? There is no way that can be true, yet I embrace it each morning. I tried to narrow down what had changed to make me actually believe that.

I’ve noticed that when things fall apart other things rise up. Tragedy, hardship, natural disasters, violence, and death are the terrors of life. Nevertheless, communities are raised up, families are raised up, and even funds are raised up. Furthermore, awareness is raised. How can you explain the devastating things in life we witness and experience? This is the answer; there is life after death. How annoying is the saying, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger?” It’s irritatingly true! If you personally did not perish from the events in your life then you have a unique opportunity for growth, responsiveness, and most importantly; change. You may not be able to change what happened, but you can change your attitude of what happened. You can do something with your pain or loss. So, what WILL you do?

Take control of your mind so you can have control in your day. Captivate your thoughts and produce action. Allow yourself to take a deep breath and recognize the air flowing in and out of your body. Now that you have done that I encourage you look at the blessings in front of you, the people around you, and the potential within you.

Depression, anxiety, grief or stress do not define you, they refine you!

Truly Yours, Behtee Savvy

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