Food For Thought · life · living · real-life · Savvy · Tips · Uncategorized

Are your friends making you or breaking you?

Lately I’ve been surrounded by such fascinating people. When I was younger someone told me to always surround myself with like-minded people. She told me how important my friends are to who I become. At the time I had no interest in her advice. Apparently, Immaturity can cause defensive against help. As the years passed I had a clearer understanding of what she was talking about. The people around me weren’t motivating me whatsoever. Friends, yes friends, have the potential to completely drain you and not only keep you from progressing, but redirect your attention to an opposite path. It is within those moments that I found what type of friends I needed. As much as we don’t like to admit it, we need people and do value their opinions. So there I was, surrounded yet I felt all alone in the things I wanted to do. What exactly was hindering me?

FRIENDS typically assemble because of common interests and when your interests don’t match anymore it may be time to disconnect. Throughout your lifetime you may encounter organic friendships which blossom instantly. Something about the person may have felt familiar. Regardless of that chemistry, there are factors that can distance you. Ever lost a friend after they got in a relationship or had a baby? Ever stop seeing someone once they started their career or obsessed over a new hobby? It is those life-changing moments which become deciding factors of the significance of your friendship. There are other moments, specifically ones I’m referring to, where a tough realization of unproductivity concludes your friendship. It has nothing to do with anything other than the fact that conversation or views are now different. Once you grasp that you and your friend(s) aren’t on the same mindset it is time to back away.

DREAMERS and doers are the type of people you need to propel you forward. You need people who will challenge you and inspire you. You need people who are also seeking improvement and are actively working on it. The problem that can arise with old friends is that they may still see you as the same person you were when you first met. Consequently, that can hold you back from moving forward. It is important to recognize the “old friends” that know who you were and embrace who you have become. Those are the keepers who will appreciate everything about your aspirations because they understand your personal journey. The moment you begin to know what you’re looking for in a friend is when you begin to see who does not fit that description.

PEOPLE PLEASERS tend to hold on to people longer than they should. It is quite frankly a character flaw. It is great to be a giver, a helper, or someone who is selfless, but there is a fine line. When you keep someone around because you do not want to hurt their feelings then you are stumping your own growth. Do not stay in a bad crowd just to please them. Saying no to them is necessary when saying yes to yourself! There comes a time when your growth depends on the actions you take to get there. Understand that wasting time on people who don’t offer a fruitful friendship is foolish. You can still love someone dearly from afar without having them apart of your every move.

RELATIONSHIPS can easily be distractions from the type of person you want to be. It is important to also identify your growth with your significant other. Are you making each other better? Are you encouraging one another? Being compatible and being fruitful are two different things.  If you find yourself in a healthy relationship you may still want to evaluate how much time is spent with this person rather on the things you need most. For instance, if my husband wants to go for a morning run and I insist we cook breakfast together then I am holding him back. His runs are important to him. He is able to clear his mind and typically returns feeling great which in-turn benefits us. I never want to be what is holding him back from improvement. Equally, he understands my passions and challenges me to pursue them by regularly asking about my plans towards my goals. Your partner should want to see growth for you and encourage you to seek your dreams. What can be more attractive then someone who sees great potential in you?

THANKFULLY, I have been surrounded by such fascinating people lately. I remember long ago when I prayed for this. Not necessarily for new friends, but for like-minded people. In the past few years I’ve met so many people who can be credited for the person I’ve become. I owe a huge gratitude to those who believed in me, challenged me, and gave me constructive criticism. I appreciate my friendships which fostered long talks and even longer cries. I desire to be better and push myself. I hunger and thirst for righteousness as do the people around me. There are people who not only show their love through support, but through the extraordinary measure of friendship which is prayer.

Do you have friends who pray for you? Do you have friends that support your passions? And lastly, are you the type of friend who inspires? How do you benefit or bless those around you? Meditate on that and take time to evaluate the company you have.

Are they making you or breaking you?

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